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Q has been loving reading Cover of book, a child singing and dancing in the moonlight

My concern about celebrating Thanksgiving led me to a search for ways to contribute toward addressing the inequities faced by Indigenous communities. Here’s what I’ve found so far:

NAYA coordinates a multitude of services that, according to their mission “enhance the diverse strengths of our youth and families in partnership with the community through cultural identity and education.” Here is a list of their requested donation items.

Friends of Trees is not overtly tied to balancing inequities, but economic disparities related to cost of living and structural racism mean that historically marginalized populations are disproportionately impacted by pollution and environmental contaminants.

Friends of Trees also has an equity and inclusion mission, and partners with Wisdom of the Elders, Verde and other organizations that are connecting environmental sustainability with social and economic justice.

Several of these organizations are also members of a Coalition for Communities of Color, which works on research, leadership development, and policy analysis and advocacy.

Learn more about kid-friendly volunteer opportunities here.

This morning, after encountering an acronym I didn’t recognize (BIPOC), I ended up at this article, [CONTENT WARNING-violence] illuminating some ways that police brutality disproportionately impacts specific racial populations (primarily black and indigenous people).

Reading it reminded me of the importance of engaging with these topics despite my discomfort, which I realize stems partly from my own struggle with not wanting to sound ignorant. But the solution to that problem is to continue educating myself, not to avoid the discussion completely. If everyone waited until they had a university degree in a subject before participating, then those conversations would remain purely academic exercises.

Instead, I am choosing to contribute my perspective, even as I worry that it is incomplete, and imperfect. I believe it is still important.

The link to the book reviews above includes the author’s description of their own discomfort in coming to terms with how much to share with their children about the history of violence in our country. I share that internal conflict, and I keep coming back to the awareness that the option to share that reality or not is a privilege many families don’t have, because continued violence impacts them directly. (With gratitude to Aisha Ray for introducing me to that concept in this post.)

Q had his first encounter with economic injustice recently as we witnessed a person taking diapers from our local Walgreens and walking out without paying. Like many 4-year-olds in our culture, he often plays thief and police officer. And we’ve talked before about why someone might be stealing something. I’ve also attempted to model restorative justice rather than the criminal justice system.

Honesty is kind
Honesty is kind

In my own mind I grapple with the idea that in a land where anyone goes hungry, every well-fed person is a thief. And the books above are reminders that some of our ancestors stole from some others, and that the descendants of those who were stolen from have continued to suffer throughout the recent history of this continent and remain vulnerable to economic and social injustices today.

It has been asserted that there’s not much we can do about that now. I disagree, and I think the least we can do – a decent start – is to tell the children the truth, even when it feels uncomfortable. I have gone back and forth between boycotting Thanksgiving and trying to focus on the spirit of gratitude and togetherness without the myths behind it. My current goal is to find an act of service that directly benefits individuals who have been harmed by those lies. Even that feels a bit token, but we have to start somewhere, and I’m hoping that by using the “holiday” as an opportunity to connect with organizations that are working every day to balance the inequities that remain, we can begin to make that effort more a part of our daily lives.

Update: some volunteering and donation opportunities I’ve discovered.

This one is more of a principle (flexibility) than a specific action. I recognized it a few nights ago when I was making dinner, which I don’t do very often. Q was starting to spin out (bumping into things, dumping things out, making loud noises, trying to bug his sibling who was trying to rehearse for an audition – all of the clues he gives when he’s getting overly tired). I really wanted to finish cooking. It happens so rarely that I actually put together a good fresh meal.

snail
It’s okay to go slow!

As I often do in a pinch when I don’t have a healthy distraction (like playdough!) prepared, I suggested he go watch a show while I finished. Thankfully, the voice of wisdom (the older sibling) chimed in “I don’t think that’s what he needs right now”. This was kind of a head-slapping moment for me. Obviously, giving a child who is exhibiting signs of dis-regulation a device that is known to cause dis-regulation doesn’t quite make sense. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t put that together.

Even with my keen awareness of the detriments of heavy electronic media use, which has led me to attempt media diets or even fasts on multiple occasions – and create this awesome calendar to help 🙂 – I still pretty much thought of it as an overall challenge, rather than specific to certain situations. And I had done the same thing with the food. I was focusing on the overall idea of healthy meals, rather than what my family really needed in that moment.

I took a deep breath, turned off the stovetop, put a lid on the veggies, and proceeded to lead Q through our bedtime routine, ending with an extra helping of snack.

I’m going to keep this post short and sweet. We are off on summer vacation stay-cation this week, and even though I have a rad-o-rama painting / glitter table set up that would probably keep Q occupied long enough for me to finish this series, I’m excited to join in!

I know I’ve said a few times that “this is my ultimate favorite tip” — but this one really is the quickest way from stressed to relaxed that I know. The hard part is remembering how good I feel after I go outside.

I figured this out when my older kid was a baby. Often the only way to get them to calm down enough to sleep was a neighborhood walk in the stroller. And I noticed that I also returned feeling refreshed. The change of scenery, expansive views (at least compared to a tiny house), and fresh air, regardless of whether it’s sunshine or rain — nothing better for a new perspective on life.

I’m not sure why this always feels so hard for me to do, like it’s going to drain all my energy. Definitely the reverse is true. Last winter when I was battling multiple health issues, sometimes I could really only get out for a few minutes at a time. And it really made a huge difference in my mindset for the rest of the day. Hope it helps you too!

I noticed on Instagram last week I kept coming across ideas for cool play dough additives. Playing with sensory materials is one of my favorite activities to do together, and adding the element of yummy smells and colors or crushed flowers makes it even more appealing to me. (Click on the number to link to the post.)

1 Pastels and flowers from @wild_mountain_child
2 Lavender with lavender from @little.love.tribe
3 Nature cookies from @playforeveryday
4 Pure blue plus pine cone from @thedoughfolk
5 Natural plus nature from @birralee_kindy_como
6 Clay with stamps from @tinyfolkco
7 Pink in frame with wooden tools from @little.larch
8 Blue with shells from Susie @lovepeaceandlearningeyfs
9 Lavender plus nature also from Susie!

dried crushed flowers
Image by Monfocus from Pixabay

Hope you enjoy this play dough inspiration as much as I did! Comment below with your favorite color /scent/ material combos.

Q and I will both be heading back to school next week, so I’m thinking this is the perfect opportunity to shift our agreements around media use. This summer I did a one-week challenge with about 90% success rate (hahah, I just looked back at a previous post where I estimated my success at 80%! Maybe I’ll keep a log this time).
I owe much of that success to having some planned activities to turn to when the impulse strikes to say “go ahead and watch while I finish…”
To prepare for my goal of the four-week fast recommended by Dr. Victoria Dunckley, I put together a whole 28-days worth of screen-free activities available for free download below! (Ugh, my technological ineptness strikes again – actually can’t figure out how to make it downloadable, so feel free to screen shot (there’s a second page with some tips on specific activities, so if you want that email me.)

Update: I figured it out! You can download the complete file on my Free Resources page.

I just watched a video detailing some of the effects of electronic media on brain chemistry, and I’m launching another round of “get those bugs outta here”. (This is what little Q would say as he swished his hands around to dispel fruit flies.)

Both of my kiddos have been exposed to videos by their second birthday. My older one started out playing a Sesame Street game on pbskids.org, and my younger watched animal documentaries on Netflix. Over the past year, I’ve been really working to limit my 4-year-old’s time to “educational” programs (Blippi on YouTube, or PBS shows). As a single parent, it is especially tempting to talk myself into needing a break from constant interaction.

The truth is, with just a short time of focused attention, Q will go off playing alone for quite a while. And I have a number of friends who are happy to help out when I need to some to myself. Even so, I end up saying yes to videos more often than I would like. Earlier this summer, I embarked on a week-long screen free challenge, which I’d say we were about 80% successful with. I figure any reduction is a positive step.

nature scene

This month I’ll be pulling out my Whole Family Rhythms materials to work on refining our play space and routines to support the goal of limiting screen time to family movie night in September. Wish me luck!

P.S. I’m also working on a calendar of alternative activities; check back in the next week, or email if you want me to let you know when it’s available. (You can also subscribe to the blog for updates on all new posts.)

XXOO
anne

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Okay the title is kind of a lie, because: you don’t. Dumping and pouring are a key toddler developmental task. The best you can do is corral the mess. One way I found that seemed to work was getting some empty boxes and trays in which to dump the objects. Kind of like a water transfer activity, but with blocks or other items instead. This work helps them cognitively by witnessing the effect of gravity, develops their sense of self by seeing that their actions affect the world around them, and refines motor skills.

toddler playing with blocks
Image by bethL from Pixabay

I think what made the tray and box dumping more attractive than floor dumping was the sound of falling into another hard surface (vs. our floor which was carpet), as well as the fact that after Q dumped into a container, it was easy to then dump from that into another, rather than having to wait until they were all picked up to go again.