This is a video that will be available for only a few days, so even though I already posted this morning (about summer trips with kids), I’m putting it up now.
Dr. Dunckley is a child psychiatrist who noticed a pattern and experimented to find the effect of reducing or eliminating video games and other electronic devices.
In my own life, I have a history of trauma and PTSD that influences my sleep cycles, and in an effort to minimize the challenges, I have tried a lot of different interventions. Switching to reading paper books and listening to meditation stories, and putting down my phone at night (which I was using as a distraction after nightmares), has definitely had a positive impact. I have also been working with supplements and psychiatric medications as well, so I can’t positively attribute all of the changes to one thing, but this researcher has done scientific studies.
I hope it is illuminating. If you are wanting to make changes in your child’s screen use, Meagan at Whole Family Rhythms has a guide to get started.
If you’re taking off for the beach, mountains, river, camping, or just a day trip, you want to make sure you’re well-prepared with health and safety supplies, and some entertainment for the road. Here are my top ten packing list essentials (plus links to some other great ideas!):
Sun screen and bug spray. Nature is a beautiful thing, and you don’t want to spoil your enjoyment with burns or bites. I personally like to start with a citronella candle, and then some natural repellent in case they are persistent. Depending on the age of your kids, they may like putting their lotion on themselves, with you doing a final check (same as with teeth brushing).
Snacks and water. Let them pick out some of their favorite choices, and then add in whatever you need for nutritional balance. On a long hot trip you can put ice in their water bottles too. If they drink juice, you can plan ahead and make some ice cubes that will be colorful and add a bit of special flavor. (Just make sure you rinse out the bottles right after to avoid gunk getting dried in the straws.)
Medications. Always a good idea to have some ibuprofen, anti-histamine, and something for upset stomach on hand. Full Suitcase has a more comprehensive list of supplies for a first aid kit.
Wipes. I don’t know any parent who travels without these, but I couldn’t leave them off the list! Very Well Family has more ideas for critical items you might forget, along with some important safety tips.
Stroller. Even if your big kid doesn’t usually use one, extra long walks can get tiring for them and you don’t want to end up carrying or stuck with a melt-down halfway through. (P.S. I got this idea from the Minimalist Traveler, they have some other great suggestions too.)
Car toys. Their favorite music and audio books go a long way to keeping them from boredom. Fidget devices, drawing materials – including their own map to decorate, and anything that’s new to them (and that you are confident they can manage using on their own without frustration) can be helpful. My brother and I liked to play simple I Spy games – looking for colors, shapes, or animals along the way. This could be even more fun with a set of binoculars or a paper towel roll “telescope”. The Mama Notes suggests bringing a metal cookie sheet to use with magnets or post-it notes, and a few other great ideas.
Ball & bubbles. Taking breaks along your route frequently might seem to make the trip longer, but getting the wiggles out at rest stops could make all the difference in keeping kids’ emotions balanced.
Camera! Make sure to upload your phone photos before you leave so there’s plenty of space for new memories. Let you kids take some pics too so you can see what they are interested in and they’ll remember what was important to them.
Their favorite…. blankie, binkie, bedtime book, jammies, toothpaste.
Your favorite… face cream, snacks, bedtime book, jammies, and anything else that makes you feel cared for on what is bound to be a slightly stressful and super fun adventure!
Since my kids are a bit older, I’m probably forgetting some key items for the younger ones. Fantabulosity has a checklist for you!
Note: this post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a
commission if you purchase through the link. I only link to products I
use and love.
Today’s self-care idea is another gratitude practice. I hope it does not seem redundant; I believe we cannot spend too much effort reminding ourselves the beauty that surrounds us; doing so is an important aspect of nourishing, enriching, and healing our souls. Each weekend, as our family routines slow down and I have more space in my day for intention, my mind turns to appreciating the gifts around me.
I multiply the power of this focus with a mealtime ritual inspired by the words of Thich Nhat Hanh. In the book Inter-Being, Hanh describes the process of linking together all of the historic events which have led to the moment that you are experiencing. Being nurtured by eating is a perfect opportunity to recognize the farmers, truck drivers, store owners, sun and rain and soil, the parents of all the workers and their grandparents throughout time, all of the relationships and resources that nurtured each of them, the legacy of plant biology necessary to produce the seeds, the crafters or factory laborers who created the tools, furniture, and fabrics that you are using to eat, all of those individual’s ancestors and everything and everyone who contributed to those lives; the materials, equipment, and human work needed to build all of the structures and transportation infrastructure involved.
When sharing this fullness with my younger child, I often simplify enormity to three or five key elements, while in my own brain I hold the expansive version.
Contemplating these factors ignites a sense of wonder at my place in the universe – even the geology and astronomic forces that have impacted the formation of our planet play a part. Considering all this, there is very little chance that any piece of the entire world going backward infinitely has not somehow influenced the current state of my reality. It also brings into my awareness my role in the future of humanity and global ecology. That is an awesome, magical feeling. I hope you can find time to realize the same sensation.
Generally I think of self-care in terms of spa treatments – foot soaks, face masks, massage – or reading a book on the beach. Relaxing is super important, and joy and laughter are equally good for the soul as calm and peace.
Here are some of my favorite ways to play with kids, that also have a bit of soothing energy:
Playdough – squishing things is such a sensory treat! It’s like a colorful stress ball (which I guess should really be called anti-stress balls); with the added bonus of the capacity for artistic expression 🙂
Blowing bubbles – focusing on your breath brings a great balance of centering and energizing, and the visual beauty is also nourishing to our senses.
Photo by cherylholt from Pixabay
Keeping this post short and sweet as we are taking off for a weekend with extended family – also one of my favorite self-care tools. I am lucky to have a lovely and supportive group of relatives nearby, so I try to enjoy that social interaction and change of scenery often.
One of the most powerful mood shifters I know is gratitude. About a year ago, I started keeping a daily journal listing ten things I’m grateful for, and why. The “why” part also helps me clarify my deepest values by noticing how I describe what’s important to me. For example, I’ll I often have a lot of words like cozy, beautiful, and relaxing in my lists, which lets me know that these are some of the things that matter most to me – and then I can bring more of that into my life.
Recently I introduced this idea to my four-year-old through a simple dinner-time ritual. When we sit down to eat, I light a candle, and then we each share what was our favorite part of the day. It’s a sweet way to connect and learn more about one another, and bring pleasant feelings by remembering all of the most fun things we’ve done and kindness we’ve experienced.
Another way that we focus on the joy in our lives is “the remember story” told at bedtime. I don’t recall how we started, but Q loves it! It begins “Do you remember when we woke up this morning, and …” and then talk about our day. When we’ve been together, it’s fun to reminisce, and when we’ve been apart, it gives us a chance to hear more about each others’ lives. It also helps me think about ways I can make each day special, so we have wonderful things to remember.
As you begin to create additional opportunities for self-care in your lives, this practice will help amplify the feelings to get even more benefit. If you have other ways that you express or focus on gratitude, share them in the comments so we can inspire each other!
Note: this post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you purchase through the link. I only link to products I use and love.
Okay, I’m super excited about today’s family self-care idea, because it’s one of my favorites, and because it’s going to make all of the others so much easier. Are you ready? Here it is:
Screen Free Days! I promise you this one activity will have a bigger impact on your state of mind and your connection with your kids than any other. This may seem obvious in theory, but, like the fire drill experience, the effect is so much greater in practice than I had imagined.
(If you are one of the blessed single parents / WAHPs who don’t turn to screens in times of desperation, I apologize this post isn’t as exciting for you. I’ll make it up to you with my second best idea tomorrow! Hint: it involves candles.)
The idea of a screen break came to me via Meagan at Whole Family Rhythms. I mean, the idea of a screen break is self-explanatory, but she actually has an official plan. According to her website, she’s been almost completely screen free for years, which is totally inspiring, and also seems completely impossible right now. But, a week? Probably doable. One. single. day? No excuse not take that challenge.
When I did the Unplug Childhood training earlier this year, I prepared myself for some tears and foot stomping. It was actually surprising how little resistance I met. I think part of it was the pre-planned activities (like bubbles, playdough, and morning provocations), and my willingness to forgo some of my own time to really dedicate to playing – which is always my goal anyway. Focusing my energy in this direction was just extra incentive to be more organized. It honestly only takes 5 minutes to set up a simple play activity like blocks or playdough for the morning, have an idea of an art experience for later in the day after nap, and if all else fails we head to the park!
Take your time
Here is another lovely source of ideas for keeping busy while you adjust to losing your free babysitter. My goal was to make the approach light and easy, not pressured. The idea is to lower stress, so making it hard on yourself defeats that purpose.
In the long run, your child’s emotional regulation will benefit so much from interacting with the physical world using multiple senses, leading to more peaceful problem-solving and a happier, more connected environment.
If you missed the first two posts in the series, you can find them here, and here.
On the first day of this series, I talked about one of my favorite ways to relax on a hot summer night: sharing a soothing foot soak. With the heat even more intense now, I’m realizing that some cooling mint leaves would be a perfect addition to this treat!
Today I’m sharing a great spur-of-the-moment stress reliever that is especially helpful for kids who love to be active. I was going to say, “Are there any who don’t?” but honestly I was that kid who could generally be found curled up with a book, and only played outside, reluctantly, when dragged out by my cousin or pushed out by the recess bell.
Fortunately, I’ve since found some kinds of physical exercise that I actually enjoy, and one that I’m lucky enough to have in common with both of my kids is dancing. It’s the next best thing to going to the beach.
When my house is out of control, and everybody is out of sorts, I can usually just turn on some music and once we get moving I can keep going to get the work done. My older child and I don’t have much overlap in our tastes in songs; we converge on musical theater tunes, but I don’t find them very danceable – even though they are totally designed to be… just maybe I would need actual dance skills to make it work.
So I get most of my dancing done with just the four-year-old. Thankfully, he is a big fan of some of my favorite artists: Beyonce, Janelle Monae and Imagine Dragons (at first I thought he was just attracted to the weirdness of some of the videos, but he gets his bop on to the car radio too.) **Some of these linked songs have words that might make some people’s grandparents blush :)**
Dancing is like super bonus self-care because it’s good for mind and body. It gets my blood pumping, it often gets me singing which leads to deeper breathing, and it’s just so fun! Next time the stress level in your house starts to bubble over, try taking a time out for a dance party – at the very least, you’ll have to kick all of the toys to the wall to make space on the floor, so your cleaning will be half done! If you need some inspo in the music department to get you started, I’ll share some kid friendly ideas below, and if you want my personal “dance lessons” playlist, here ya go. (As with the links above, some of these lyrics may not pass G rating, but the ones below should, except for maybe the lawnmower song.)
Some of Q’s current favorites are Yellow Submarine by the Beatles, Perry Gripp’s Space Unicorn and Raining Tacos (warning: not a vegetarian song), and All American Rejects’ Gives You Hell, which as a toddler he called “the lawnmower song” (watch the video and you’ll understand why.)
He has also recently become enamored with silly movement songs (and anything else silly) like “Tootie Tah”. It’s not really danceable per se, but it’s fun anyway. I found a Dr. Jean version that’s pretty heckin hilarious – few things in life more entertaining (except maybe this), than watching a middle aged preschool teacher who wouldn’t be caught dead in a club find an excuse to shake her booty. (I say this as a middle aged preschool teacher who needs no excuse and can often be caught alive and well at Crush or Tonic shaking it to cheesy 80’s pop or whatever DJ Aurora is playing.)
I’ll be back tomorrow with my very best family self-care tip… I know I should probably keep it for last, but I think it’s going to be the most fun, and help with all of the others, so I’m bringing it out early. I also have a scented playdough Instagram round-up in the works so stay tuned for that as well.
When your kids are with you 24/7, the best way to get some good self-care in is to include them! For the next month, I will be highlighting simple self-care activities that you can do WITH your kids – so you don’t have to add the cost of child care to your spa bill, or use up prime Netflix time. Okay I guess you could actually do a lot of these while watching… but it’s also super fun to introduce your little ones to the simple joys of self-care rituals. And wouldn’t you rather fold laundry while you binge anyway?
Once of my family’s favorite “self-care together” activities is foot soaks. Filling up a tub of warm water (or cool if it’s super hot outside!), adding some bath salts or essential oils, and dipping our toes is a relaxing a fun way to take care of our bodies and get a great sensory experience.
If we’re feeling extra fancy, adding some rose petals or lavender blossoms gives it a luxurious aesthetic.
Stay tuned for more summer self-care ideas I’ll be featuring over the next month!
Note: this post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a
commission if you purchase through the link. I only link to products I
use and love.
My preschool class last year did a study on bubbles – all the things we could use to make wands (wire / chenille stems, funnels, straws, our own hands!!), painting using straws, bubble wands, and circular shaped objects; and testing out different formulas. Two key finds: the addition of glycerine makes them stronger / longer-lasting, and soaking it overnight makes them easier to form.
We experimented with different ratios of soap to water and found that too much soap weighs them down, but not enough will cause them to pop immediately (even with the secret ingredient).
My first encounter with the true magic of bubbles started when my oldest child was a toddler and I bought some bubble bath that came with a wand. Cute for the kids, but the real gem is that blowing bubbles is relaxing! It forces you to be conscious of your breathing rate and power. Perfect meditation tool for parents at the end of the night. This particular soap included lavender scent, which helps it feel especially soothing. Babo babies bubble bath is the one we are using now, so yummy and so bubbly! (This affiliate link goes to the shampoo / body wash, but just search bubble bath on the site.)
Okay, here is my ideal homemade bubble recipe:
Combine 1/4 c. dish soap (Seventh Generation citrus, lavender, or mint / eucalyptus scents are wonderful) + 2c water + 2 tsp glycerine; stir gently. Let sit overnight for optimum results. Delight in the wonder of this simple pleasure!
Play dough is one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal. Any time I really need to get something done (phone calls, computer work, a ten minute nap), I can trust that play dough will be there for me.
As long as I can clear a surface to squish on, there are an infinite number of interactive materials that can get thrown into the mix with this glorious substance. Not all recipes are created equal. I’ve ended up with some sticky (usually fixable by adding more flour and salt), some crumbly (add more water and oil). This recipe is just right. It has reliably turned out perfectly smooth, lasts seriously forever in a container, takes color beautifully, and just has a great satisfying squeeze factor.
While I kept to simple nests and eggs, Q designed an elaborate playground – we’ll have to include some structural components next time; the swing and slide ended up a bit droopy.
