Parenting

Decolonizing Thanksgiving Is An Oxymoron – Kids Books Dismantling The Myth of a ‘First Thanksgiving’

This morning, after encountering an acronym I didn’t recognize (BIPOC), I ended up at this article, [CONTENT WARNING-violence] illuminating some ways that police brutality disproportionately impacts specific racial populations (primarily black and indigenous people).

Reading it reminded me of the importance of engaging with these topics despite my discomfort, which I realize stems partly from my own struggle with not wanting to sound ignorant. But the solution to that problem is to continue educating myself, not to avoid the discussion completely. If everyone waited until they had a university degree in a subject before participating, then those conversations would remain purely academic exercises.

Instead, I am choosing to contribute my perspective, even as I worry that it is incomplete, and imperfect. I believe it is still important.

The link to the book reviews above includes the author’s description of their own discomfort in coming to terms with how much to share with their children about the history of violence in our country. I share that internal conflict, and I keep coming back to the awareness that the option to share that reality or not is a privilege many families don’t have, because continued violence impacts them directly. (With gratitude to Aisha Ray for introducing me to that concept in this post.)

Q had his first encounter with economic injustice recently as we witnessed a person taking diapers from our local Walgreens and walking out without paying. Like many 4-year-olds in our culture, he often plays thief and police officer. And we’ve talked before about why someone might be stealing something. I’ve also attempted to model restorative justice rather than the criminal justice system.

In my own mind I grapple with the idea that in a land where anyone goes hungry, every well-fed person is a thief. And the books above are reminders that some of our ancestors stole from some others, and that the descendants of those who were stolen from have continued to suffer throughout the recent history of this continent and remain vulnerable to economic and social injustices today.

It has been asserted that there’s not much we can do about that now. I disagree, and I think the least we can do – a decent start – is to tell the children the truth, even when it feels uncomfortable. I have gone back and forth between boycotting Thanksgiving and trying to focus on the spirit of gratitude and togetherness without the myths behind it. My current goal is to find an act of service that directly benefits individuals who have been harmed by those lies. Even that feels a bit token, but we have to start somewhere, and I’m hoping that by using the “holiday” as an opportunity to connect with organizations that are working every day to balance the inequities that remain, we can begin to make that effort more a part of our daily lives.

Update: some volunteering and donation opportunities I’ve discovered.