Q and I will both be heading back to school next week, so I’m thinking this is the perfect opportunity to shift our agreements around media use. This summer I did a one-week challenge with about 90% success rate (hahah, I just looked back at a previous post where I estimated my success at 80%! Maybe I’ll keep a log this time). I owe much of that success to having some planned activities to turn to when the impulse strikes to say “go ahead and watch while I finish…” To prepare for my goal of the four-week fast recommended by Dr. Victoria Dunckley, I put together a whole 28-days worth of screen-free activities available for free download below! (Ugh, my technological ineptness strikes again – actually can’t figure out how to make it downloadable, so feel free to screen shot (there’s a second page with some tips on specific activities, so if you want that email me.)
Update: I figured it out! You can download the complete file on my Free Resources page.
I just watched a video detailing some of the effects of electronic media on brain chemistry, and I’m launching another round of “get those bugs outta here”. (This is what little Q would say as he swished his hands around to dispel fruit flies.)
Both of my kiddos have been exposed to videos by their second birthday. My older one started out playing a Sesame Street game on pbskids.org, and my younger watched animal documentaries on Netflix. Over the past year, I’ve been really working to limit my 4-year-old’s time to “educational” programs (Blippi on YouTube, or PBS shows). As a single parent, it is especially tempting to talk myself into needing a break from constant interaction.
The truth is, with just a short time of focused attention, Q will go off playing alone for quite a while. And I have a number of friends who are happy to help out when I need to some to myself. Even so, I end up saying yes to videos more often than I would like. Earlier this summer, I embarked on a week-long screen free challenge, which I’d say we were about 80% successful with. I figure any reduction is a positive step.
This month I’ll be pulling out my Whole Family Rhythms materials to work on refining our play space and routines to support the goal of limiting screen time to family movie night in September. Wish me luck!
P.S. I’m also working on a calendar of alternative activities; check back in the next week, or email if you want me to let you know when it’s available. (You can also subscribe to the blog for updates on all new posts.)
This is a video that will be available for only a few days, so even though I already posted this morning (about summer trips with kids), I’m putting it up now.
Dr. Dunckley is a child psychiatrist who noticed a pattern and experimented to find the effect of reducing or eliminating video games and other electronic devices.
In my own life, I have a history of trauma and PTSD that influences my sleep cycles, and in an effort to minimize the challenges, I have tried a lot of different interventions. Switching to reading paper books and listening to meditation stories, and putting down my phone at night (which I was using as a distraction after nightmares), has definitely had a positive impact. I have also been working with supplements and psychiatric medications as well, so I can’t positively attribute all of the changes to one thing, but this researcher has done scientific studies.
I hope it is illuminating. If you are wanting to make changes in your child’s screen use, Meagan at Whole Family Rhythms has a guide to get started.
Note: this post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you purchase through the link. I only link to products I use and love.
Okay, I’m super excited about today’s family self-care idea, because it’s one of my favorites, and because it’s going to make all of the others so much easier. Are you ready? Here it is:
Screen Free Days! I promise you this one activity will have a bigger impact on your state of mind and your connection with your kids than any other. This may seem obvious in theory, but, like the fire drill experience, the effect is so much greater in practice than I had imagined.
(If you are one of the blessed single parents / WAHPs who don’t turn to screens in times of desperation, I apologize this post isn’t as exciting for you. I’ll make it up to you with my second best idea tomorrow! Hint: it involves candles.)
The idea of a screen break came to me via Meagan at Whole Family Rhythms. I mean, the idea of a screen break is self-explanatory, but she actually has an official plan. According to her website, she’s been almost completely screen free for years, which is totally inspiring, and also seems completely impossible right now. But, a week? Probably doable. One. single. day? No excuse not take that challenge.
When I did the Unplug Childhood training earlier this year, I prepared myself for some tears and foot stomping. It was actually surprising how little resistance I met. I think part of it was the pre-planned activities (like bubbles, playdough, and morning provocations), and my willingness to forgo some of my own time to really dedicate to playing – which is always my goal anyway. Focusing my energy in this direction was just extra incentive to be more organized. It honestly only takes 5 minutes to set up a simple play activity like blocks or playdough for the morning, have an idea of an art experience for later in the day after nap, and if all else fails we head to the park!
Take your time
Here is another lovely source of ideas for keeping busy while you adjust to losing your free babysitter. My goal was to make the approach light and easy, not pressured. The idea is to lower stress, so making it hard on yourself defeats that purpose.
In the long run, your child’s emotional regulation will benefit so much from interacting with the physical world using multiple senses, leading to more peaceful problem-solving and a happier, more connected environment.
If you missed the first two posts in the series, you can find them here, and here.
When your kids are with you 24/7, the best way to get some good self-care in is to include them! For the next month, I will be highlighting simple self-care activities that you can do WITH your kids – so you don’t have to add the cost of child care to your spa bill, or use up prime Netflix time. Okay I guess you could actually do a lot of these while watching… but it’s also super fun to introduce your little ones to the simple joys of self-care rituals. And wouldn’t you rather fold laundry while you binge anyway?
Once of my family’s favorite “self-care together” activities is foot soaks. Filling up a tub of warm water (or cool if it’s super hot outside!), adding some bath salts or essential oils, and dipping our toes is a relaxing a fun way to take care of our bodies and get a great sensory experience.
If we’re feeling extra fancy, adding some rose petals or lavender blossoms gives it a luxurious aesthetic.
Stay tuned for more summer self-care ideas I’ll be featuring over the next month!
