Self-care for single parents #7 – Stay present
This one is more of a principle (flexibility) than a specific action. I recognized it a few nights ago when I was making dinner, which I don’t do very often. Q was starting to spin out (bumping into things, dumping things out, making loud noises, trying to bug his sibling who was trying to rehearse for an audition – all of the clues he gives when he’s getting overly tired). I really wanted to finish cooking. It happens so rarely that I actually put together a good fresh meal.
As I often do in a pinch when I don’t have a healthy distraction (like playdough!) prepared, I suggested he go watch a show while I finished. Thankfully, the voice of wisdom (the older sibling) chimed in “I don’t think that’s what he needs right now”. This was kind of a head-slapping moment for me. Obviously, giving a child who is exhibiting signs of dis-regulation a device that is known to cause dis-regulation doesn’t quite make sense. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t put that together.
Even with my keen awareness of the detriments of heavy electronic media use, which has led me to attempt media diets or even fasts on multiple occasions – and create this awesome calendar to help 🙂 – I still pretty much thought of it as an overall challenge, rather than specific to certain situations. And I had done the same thing with the food. I was focusing on the overall idea of healthy meals, rather than what my family really needed in that moment.
I took a deep breath, turned off the stovetop, put a lid on the veggies, and proceeded to lead Q through our bedtime routine, ending with an extra helping of snack.
